There's often this time in your life when you feel that everything around you, and all you ever believed in is crumbling into dust. It's no longer the same as it used to be, and this is a shame because what used to be was nice. It was perfect the way it was and you really didnt want this turnaround. You could do everything in your power to reverse this unwanted change, except that now, there is nothing that you can do, except live with it. And that makes you bitter. Or does it?
One of my favourite concepts in history and philosophy is Hegel's dialectical theory. It is a very simple idea which explains that the existing order is a thesis, which often comes into attraction with a new order, the antithesis and the interation between these two makes up a synthesis. Historians, politicians, philosphers and sociologists, have used this theory to describe big things, and big events, which have changed the course of our human history. And somehow, sitting in this comfortable December noon, my mind manages to invoke this, on a microcosmic level, to my own life.
Its a time in my life, when everything seems to be changing. A lot of things that i believed in are proving to be false. I'm upset and am trying to hide away from these changes. A bitter voice in me tries to dominate saying, "You might as well accept the change, and live with it", and there's another longing voice, wanting things as they were, refusing to accept that they can change. I dont know what to think. I'm in the middle of this confusion, the dialectics strike. I know what is happening. It is the historical interaction between the theses and the syntheses. the depression i am going through, is a small reflection of the depression the world went through in the post worldwar era. My life is a tiny reflectoin of history, and i am to apply lessons learnt in the history textbook to my life. Dialectics tell us, that the synthesis created out of the interaction between the thesis and the antithesis, is an amalgamation of both of them. And it is this amalgamation, which is my mandate today.
i need to retain myself and parts of myself, as i go through this change, at the same time accepting aspects of the change positively.
The change is not about a transformation. it is about a harmonious mixture. and it is a fragment of history, however small or inconsequential to the rest of the rest of the world. i am writing, and living my history here....
