Remember Remember, the 5th of November?
The Lawyer is the equivocator.
Its all about desire,
He'll burn in great hell's fire.

The two grandfathers I never knew...

Both my grandfathers died before I was born, and so I never really knew what it was like to have a male grandparent. People who know me must have noticed face turning wistful, everytime a grandfather was mentioned. Yet, when I encountered the two veterans who would teach my Constitutional Law course, i knew immediately, that this was exactly like what encounters with grandfathers would be like.

Let me describe a few moments from 'Consti' Class to demonstrate what i mean by this. Here are there two men, very well versed with their subject, working very hard to convey it to us, in a way that we, as children, can comprehend and understand. ( they're also possibly the first two teachers at law school, to treat us as people. as children, just out of school, who needed to be cared for and paid attention to, beyond the realm of the projects we could churn out and slides we would mug). Both there men us to learn not only the provisions of the constitution, but also a whole set of other values and ideas, which they are swarming with, and ow we need. So, while one man tells us little stories and annecdotes of his youth, highlighting the importance of integrity(for the first time in law school, integrity is not just about academic integrity while writing projects), honesty, courage and goodness, the other teaches us to eat healthy and work calm, emphasasing, that academics and projects are all secondary to health and well-being.

Both men, eager to instill us, values that they believe are tremendously important, at the same time making course work easier us, employ methods that they think are best for us. And along with the actual provisions of the constiution, I find myself learning and appreciating constitutional values.

What is remarkably amusing about these classes was how the two men interact with each other - exactly how I'd imagine my grandfathers would have interact with one another. They largely want to say the same things. Yet, each one repeats and elaborates on it, in his own way, even after it has been repeated by the other a number of times, in the very cute, charecteristic, hammering way of old people, in the process, wasting a whole lot of time. Both of them, wanting to say the same thing, in slightly different ways, depending on their independant estimation of our comprehensive capabilities, and maturity - one oversimplifying, and making us repeat things, so that each one of us would definitely get what was being taught, the other, filling his lectures with loads and loads of information, knowing that we could register and grasp it all.

A month of constitutional law, with these teachers has made me feel wonderful in a whole lot of ways. It has made me feel that there is someone who does care for the kind of person i become; that someone still looks at me as a child, giving me scope to make my mistakes, think in my own special way, be imaginative, and want to learn. As a child, whom they care for help help shape the personalities of, in their impressionable years.

My course on constitutional law, makes me feel loved.

The ides of March

The soothsayer and Pompei warned Caesar of the ides of March. It's strange how tyrants continue to have people warning them of impending doom. Its ironic how people so steeped in self-love have those others who love them enough to emerge out of the world of the dead to come help them, and save them. And yet, the acumen and shrewdness that guided them to their position of glory, fails to pay any heed to these warnings. Till much worse happens.

The most powerful country in the world decides to mutilate a much smaller country which is only trying to shape its own destiny. The only motive behind this act, being a Caesarian pursuit of power. The anihilating superpower- the destination of the smartest minds of the nations, the leader of the world, and the Organisation of United Nations, the land that the world looks upto for leadership.

what trash is Rome,
What rubbish and what offal, when it serves
For the base matter to illuminate
So vile a thing as Caesar!


The ides of March are yet to come.

Shakespeares idea of the macrocosm being reflected in the microcosm takes yet another form. Not only does one country dominate the other, but there are some, in our little worlds of people who belive that it is their prerogative to dominate the rest, to lead them, in ways that they dont want to be led. Everywhere there exists this dominant class, which believes in its holy right to speak for the rest, and to command the rest.

Marx spoke of a class struggle. It is yet to come.

Famous thinkers of our civilisation said that democracies are 'tyrannies of the majorities'. I'm quite sure it wasnt numerical majorities that they were talking about.

Majority of wealth, or capital, or something, it must have been.

Why I still wear my hair in a pony tail

Coming to college I faced an entirely new world. A new lifestyle, new
people, a new bed to sleep in, different buildings, different traditions,
and everything around me had just changed. I was far away from home,
topics of conversation were different. Everyone was trying very hard to
make their presence felt among others, and yet, at the same time, they
were losing touch with their own individuality- that unique factor that
made them who they were. I was thrust into this flux, unprepared, with
absolutely no idea as to what to do. I didn’t know what to do, where to
go, whom to talk to, and yet, I knew the most important thing - I did not
want to lose my individuality.
One of my favourite concepts of all times is that of dialectics, as
propounded by Hegel, which talks about the existence of a thesis with
interacts with an antithesis to form a synthesis. I may not understand the
concept completely but when I apply this to the transition from school to
college, I think of the life I had back at home, at school as a sort of
thesis and, and the new life that college promised, with its unrestricted
freedom, few rules, fresh new ideas, amazing opportunities, a chance at
learning, and at creativity as a kind of antitheses that were coming
together, to define the life I was going to lead for the next five years –
The Synthesis. How was this synthesis going to happen? Which aspects would
merge with which ones to create what was a huge task I had ahead. As I
already said, I did not want to lose touch with my individuality and all
those core things that I knew made me who I was. There were come very
crucial choices that I had to make. I had to identify who I really was,
what were those aspects that defined me, and then move ahead.
Something I knew from the very first day I entered the college gates was
that the Martinian name had to be upheld on these grounds. I knew I was a
Martinian, and though I was now also a ‘lawschoolite’, a Martinian is what
I really was. 12 years of La Martiniere had nurtured me in a very special
way, and made me a very distinct individual. And I knew, that no matter
what changes would occur, I would always, and forever, remain a Martinian.
Not just in terms of the school certificate I had, but in my deed, and in
the way I conducted myself. Being a Martinian, is a VERY crucial part of
my individuality.
I wanted this aspect of me to remain, as a very crucial part of the
Synthesis I was to create, an so, anyone who sees me walk into my
classroom at exactly 8 50 am, they see a 19 year old college student, with
a backpack, and her hair, pulled back into a bouncy pony-tail.
 I use my pony-tail here as a symbol - A symbol of all that La Martiniere
has inculcated within me. It is the discipline, the pragmatism, the
integrity, the laughter, and the absence of frills – the genuineness. It
is this genuineness which is an attribute which I cannot separate from my
years at La Martiniere. And it is that genuineness which I wish continues
to define me, as I make my way into an all new world.
        College is a world of few rules. And yet, I walk into my classroom every
morning I walk into a classroom with heads of all shades ranging from
blue to red and yellow, sporting extensions and clips of all varieties,
in a bouncy pony tail brought together with a black scrunchie. It is then
that I feel wonderfully comfortable, incredibly ‘me’ and genuinely
Martinian. It is then that I know that I am going to be Martinian for
life.
 
  
 
  

to my best friend...and a lot more..

Life has a strange way of throwing into your path exactly the person you need. not just the person u need but also the person you want, and i got mine when i was going through the toughest time of my life. and htere he was, suddenly dropped from the heavens...there for me. saying those exact words that i needed then to be able to survive, to breathe.. making me be me again.. all the while supporting me.. caring for me.. and being the most wonderful person i knew in my 17 year old life.
and it wasnt just that this best frnd of mine was nice and supporting to me. He was an amazing guy in himself. He was someone who i admired just cz of the person he was. Cz he was so perfect. Cz he was everything so many people would dream of being. And i say this, not today because everyone wants to be in princeton like him, but the guy who shared with me his dreams and desires.. who told me what he wanted to do .... and those dreams were not selfish dreams. they were inclusive dreams and all i could do was feel wonderful about being part of those dreams. He was a person who stood up for ALL that he believed and, surprisingly, i was someone he did believe in. he could laugh, and make people laugh, without hurting them. He was BRILLIANT at proving a point ( only that i was usually the one he proved that point to :P) and he was everything an ideal human being really needs to be.
He was the best friend any girl could ever have. But suddenly I messed up, and he didnt get to know how much i really loved him. How much I miss those manyhourlong pointless conversations that we had. How much i miss the confortable silences, and how much i will miss those few phone conversations that we did have when he was in India, now that he is back to firangland.
But i do. He's gonna remain one of the best guys i know, and will be the one whos given me some of the best memories ever.. Chocolate cars, cemetries, snakes, african coins, 5rupeenotes, flowers, bangbangs, barafgolas, and patrioticsongconcertbrochures to last a lifetime..
and even as i cry like an idiot when i write this, thank you, for everything :)
and cheers to a friendship that always lasts.... a bhan of cha :) (coffee for you)

ok.. so i messed up my contracts project.
The contracts teacher was one teacher who did inspire me to work, and the subject caught my fancy. I really wanted to work at it, and write a good project for him. What happened instead was that i messed it up the worst. In my defence though, i can argue that situations were glaring against me. they had said the extention had been cancelled and i had to hurry to get this piece ready. But what i did submit is not something i am proud of. not at all. i let myself down. and its not a very happy feeling. I really wanted contracts to work out.
its a horrid feeling. Letting yourself down is not a very happy situation.
So, what am i going to do about it. i am upset, no denying that. But mayb i'll just need to deal with it in a positive way. Make sure i dont mess it up again. Work really really hard at my projects next term. Work really hard at the endterm exam. Make sure i do well enough to make up for this. I must. Cz it is something i care about more than most things.
But i still cant get over how badly i did upset myself. Really didn't want to. :(

abstract

In class 5 i was taught by ms. puxty , that abstract nouns were those which could not be touched, seen, smelt or tasted. Yet they existed. The examples we learnt of such words were pain, sorrow, beauty, joy, etc. And in these 7 years, of actually going through a very secure, yet by no means easy life, i can claim to have actually touched, seen smelt and tasted so many of these abstract concepts. Forget the dry n scientific definition for once. Forget about all these reality checks and worldly limitaions. Think of laughter. Surrounding you, every part of you. Dancing out of your eyes, out of your heart. there is nothing else to think of, and indeed nothing else to care about. just u and that odysey of laughter. A childish innocence in your eyes. And u enjoying it from all you senses?

Think of being in love. even if it a childish crush. It is still innocent. And it is pure. You feel it whole heartedly. And till it wears off, u r on an all time high. and when your heart is broken the pain is larger that the beauty of love itself. and then pain is as much a reality, as the fact that the grass is green and roses red. Coz the tears may blur the actual colour and form of what you see, but they shall never hope to blur the pain you are going through!

friendship , happiness, agony, love, glory, honour, and all these other abstract concepts are a much larger than the drab reality around us. Much larger than life anyway! the ‘concrete’ part of it. They are what make life what it is. This whole intangible dream we call life!